As much as I’ve been seeking stability and a groundedness in my new life, I was recently reminded that stepping away from stability and grounding is essential to my being. Driving to So Cal for the weekend made me realize that travel of any kind makes me feel refreshed. A trip gives me an opportunity to leave my current experience, take a breath and see everything from a different vantage point.
I have moved 4 times in a 3 month period. Sure, it was only a car-full of stuff but not having a “home” along with the stress of a new part time job, adapting to my new surroundings (“where’s my fill in the blank?!?!”), being disoriented and completely dependent on my GPS in whichever new city I was currently in to find the grocery store, bank, yoga, doctors etc and being around heaps of new information and people while attending my certification program – IT’S OVERWHELMIMG! To top it all off, during this training, I am having “aha” moment after “aha” moment while practice-coaching AND being practice-coached left, right and center. As the perpetual student that I am, always seeking to better myself and expand beyond my current awareness, it’s been great to submerse myself in coaching… and it’s exhausting.
After years of putting my efforts into healing while gradually reintroducing myself to life’s expectations, my body hasn’t been too pleased with all these physical, emotionally-charged demands. My back and neck have been painful, sleep has been incredibly hard to come by and my vision has stalled its continual progress. I had returned to having 2-4 medical appointments per week partly to meet new health care providers and partly to ease my discomforts. I’ve experienced layer after layer of fear: fear that I’m back to where I started, that I’m not doing as well as I thought, that I’m undoing all the work I’ve invested. I’ve had to be reminded, time and again, that stress works against the body’s healing and that I’ve just come out of a life-altering experience so I can’t expect life to be what it was before my hiking fall. Slowly, I am learning to balance life aspirations with continued self-care.
This weekend visit was just what I needed to remember where I was and see how far I’ve come. I am filled with gratitude, yet again, for all I have… and all that awaits. I am delightfully eager to see how this leg of the journey unfolds.